just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
