can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My vagina is officially offended.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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