Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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