loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
