guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize