You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm at about main and main street
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
