Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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