Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
