I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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