Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
