We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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