And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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