Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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