Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
