It's like God shit irony all over that family
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
