So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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