I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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