I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We got so high we made milksteak
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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