She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
