Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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