hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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