You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
