Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
