the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize