The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
