butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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