I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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