But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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