I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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