He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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