I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
