We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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