is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
