At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
