I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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