if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
