I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
