I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
