So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
