i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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