All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!