True but thats because hes a fetus.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dick very happy bro
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
