he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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