She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
