i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
