Pregnant stripper...not hot.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
