so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
