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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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• (212): View more from New York

  You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?

  (475): View more from Connecticut

  Yeah?

  (212): View more from New York

  Stuck it in his pooper.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.

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• (714): View more from California

  Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck you.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell

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• (716): View more from New York

  It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon

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• (646): View more from New York

  If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.

  (1-785): View more from Kansas

  I'll be glad to.

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• (949): View more from California

  Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?

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