Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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