just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
