If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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