Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
