Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
