I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
