You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need to calm my uterus...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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