miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
