I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
