Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
