Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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