Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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