Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
whose parrot is this?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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