there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
