She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize