peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Vodka?
Forever.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
