Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
