Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
