just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
