Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
