Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
this is an emotional support booty call
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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