I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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